An elderly woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait: The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car with that classic patronizing smirk and asked,
“What’s your hurry?”

She replied. “I’m late for work.”
“Oh yeah.” Said the cop, ‘what do you do?”

I’m a R*ctum Stretcher.” She responded.
The cop stammered. “A what?”“A Rctum Stretcher!” “And just what does a r*ctm stretcher do?”
“Well.” She said. “I start by inserting one finger in the r*ctum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in and then I slowly, but surely stretch it, until it’s about 6 feet” “And just what the hell do you do with a 6-foot a*sehole?” He asked. “You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge!”