By year five of our marriage, my husband started criticizing me for not doing enough housework, even though I earned more! He’d throw things around, creating a mess while lounging on the couch. Worse, our son began copying him! When I suggested hiring a cleaner, he barked, “NO! THAT’S YOUR JOB!”
Last Saturday, after dinner, my son said, “Clean this up and wash it.” I snapped.
Me: “How dare you!? Clean it yourself!”
Son: “No, it’s YOUR job!”
Me: “APOLOGIZE! NOW!”
Son: “But Daddy said if you don’t, we’ll… Don’t miss what happened next!
Prepare yourself for a tale of how one man took patriarchy to heart, turning our once-happy marriage into a blizzard of demands and orders. When our son started mimicking him, I knew I had to do something drastic! My story will have you shocked and angry at times, but the ending is worth it! Read on!
Hi everyone, my name is Samantha and I have a story to tell that I hope will inspire other married and non-married women. See, I work as a steamfitter and have been in a supervision role for a while, which allows me incentives and bonuses.
Besides all those extra benefits, I was earning more than $100 an hour! However, to earn that much meant I also had to work out of town, but it’s something I only started doing when our boy, Terry, was old enough to care for himself under my husband’s supervision.
Me earning so much meant our retirement savings were racking up, and we’ve been able to splurge on ourselves and the kids. I thought everything was fine between my husband and me, and he never made any special demands from me.
However, a few years ago, things started changing with Ben. I generally think it has something to do with the influence he’s been getting at work. See, my husband works with a team of sexist men who consider women as service personnel.
Their influence on Ben became visible in our fifth year of marriage when he started mocking me for not doing enough housework! He’d shifted his gaze upon me not as his partner but as his servant, even though I work too and earn MORE than him!
Our marriage, once a symphony of shared dreams and mutual respect, devolved into a series of expectations and dismissals. “It was as if overnight, he donned the cloak of patriarchy, echoing the archaic sentiments of his colleagues,” I mused, shocked by how things could change so quickly.
What was even worse for me was that he liked throwing things around, leaving chaos in the kitchen before just lying down on the couch! However, what irritated me the most was that our son started COPYING him!
Knowing how hectic my work schedule was and wanting to find some peace at home, I told my husband to hire a cleaner, but he shocked me when he said, “NO! THAT’S YOUR JOB!”
I was fuming and frustrated by this new behavior and told him that in that case, I wouldn’t pay for anything because it was his job!
Last Saturday, I was at home with Terry and after having dinner, he got up without cleaning up after himself. My son, a mirror image of his father’s burgeoning disdain, challenged me. His words, sharp as knives, cut through the silence, “Clean this up and wash it.”
It was not just the mess he expected me to clean but the remnants of my dignity. I EXPLODED and with a voice that trembled with rage, I countered:
“Young man, believe me, you will apologize and clean up after yourself!” His retort was a cold, calculated echo of his father’s teachings, “No, it’s your responsibility.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!!!
In anger, I replied, “I won’t lift a finger until you apologize!”
It was then, amid the chaos of unmet expectations, that Terry uttered the words that would become the catalyst for my departure, “Fine, Dad said that if you don’t do it, we will find another agreeable woman and will live with her!”
His last statement was the straw that broke the camel’s back! That night, as the moon bore witness, I made a choice that would alter the course of our lives forever!
Tired of arguing with a child who was merely mimicking his father, I took a deep breath and calmly put everything away. I then packed my things and went to see my friend. She and I have long dreamed of going somewhere on vacation, and there couldn’t have been a better moment!
Venting to Natalie, I said, “Well, they decided that they’d find another woman to fill my shoes; let them go look.”
“You’re an inspiration, my friend. I wouldn’t be as brave as you are, but I support you all the way,” she replied.
For a whole week, I refused to answer any of Ben’s calls as I and Natalie enjoyed our well-deserved vacation time. My absence, a mirror reflecting their own follies back at them. My mother sometimes said that she communicated with him, and everything was fine, except for the fact that he cried asking for me and said he missed me.
Two weeks later, I returned from my self-imposed exile but went to my mother’s place as I was still not ready to go home. I’m assuming my mother informed Ben of my return because the following day, he and Terry arrived at our doorstep.
The pair pitched with gifts and balloons, and both of them were on their knees at the door asking for forgiveness! Hmmm, I thought with a wry smile playing on my lips, “It’s probably not so easy to find some woman.”
The change in them was palpable, like the calm after a storm…they became like silk, gliding smoothly to accommodate any of my needs, and I literally couldn’t get enough of it! My home, once a battleground, transformed into a sanctuary of respect and shared duties.
My husband and son, now allies in our shared journey, had learned the value of respect and the irreplaceable nature of my presence in their lives. It seemed to me that not even a speck of dust had time to fall before they were already wiping it away with a ladder in hand!
Apparently, “sometimes people need to be brought down to earth,” I realized. Although our journey was fraught with pain and enlightenment, it served as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of respect and love.
In the end, we found not just forgiveness but a new way forward, a path paved with mutual respect and shared responsibilities. My story, a beacon for those navigating the tempestuous waters of personal upheaval, stands as a testament to the enduring power of self-respect and the unyielding strength of the human heart.
Samantha’s story showed how resilient women can be when they apply their boundaries. In the following story, this woman takes a harsh step against patriarchy:
Jenna’s tale unfolds—a narrative steeped in the struggle for respect, love, and self-worth. On a weekend that promised nothing out of the ordinary, filled with the usual humdrum of chores and work, a simmering pot of pasta became the unlikely catalyst for a turning point in Jenna and Jimmy’s marriage.
Jenna, a nurse by profession, faced constant criticism from her husband, whose playful demeanor often bordered on the hurtful. From comments on her appearance to the quality of her cooking, Jimmy left no stone unturned in expressing his dissatisfaction.
But it was his sarcastic remark about her latest culinary effort that spilled over, leading Jenna to a moment of rebellion, marked by a pot of pasta sauce splattered across the floor. His reaction, focused more on the mess than on Jenna’s feelings, only fueled the fire!
He attempted to lighten the mood by claiming his reaction was a joke from a TikTok trend but did little to mend the rift, revealing a deeper issue in their relationship—a lack of genuine respect and understanding. Determined to stand up for herself, Jenna embarked on a daring plan of revenge.
Her plan unfolded in stages of silent protest, culminating in a dramatic exposé of Jimmy’s fraudulent activities! This act of defiance was Jenna’s declaration of independence, a bold step towards reclaiming her dignity and self-respect!
In the end, her journey is not just about the breakdown of a marriage but about the discovery of self-worth and the courage to demand respect. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the most challenging conflicts can lead us to a place of greater strength and clarity.
Source: amomama
