“I’m telling you, Donald. Your son will lose his marbles soon and will ask you to move. It’s better to be proactive and find something else on your own before that happens, and your relationship suffers,” Donald heard Mary say once again. She’d been talking about that since they started drinking tea on his son’s porch.
Donald Harper’s house burned down two months ago while he was at the supermarket, and he suffered a heart attack when he got home. He was taken to the hospital, and his son, Peter, and his wife had insisted on moving him with them when he recovered. But they were a couple in their 30s with three young kids, and now they had to handle an older man in their home.
Donald had been worried about being a burden for a while, but they insisted that they loved having him around, and the grandkids were always happy to hear his stories. But Peter’s neighbor, Mary, who was around Donald’s age, had been telling him otherwise.
“You think Peter and his wife are too polite to tell me to move?” Donald wondered, his right hand holding the teacup to his lips and sipping slowly.
Mary did the same while nodding her head vehemently. “Of course! It happened to me, and I was only with my daughter for three weeks. She blamed me for everything that went wrong. She said that I was too loud in the mornings and causing her electric bill to go up. My house was only getting fumigated, but I swear, I wanted to just return home,” she continued. “We haven’t talked to each other in a while because of that.”
Donald hummed and nodded, thinking that Mary might be right. Obviously, his son was way more polite because they didn’t have one bad word to say about Donald at all.
He also noticed that Peter and his wife, Sandra, were coming home later and later each day. He was happy to watch the kids for them, but maybe, he thought, they were unhappy to see him in their house. He decided it might be time to move.
The older man pulled his son aside that night when he got home and suggested moving him to a nursing home, but Peter said they should revisit that conversation later. “Dad now is not the time for that. We’ll talk about it later.”
Several months went by, and Donald was worried. Peter and his wife looked exhausted every time they got home, although they always smiled for him. He had not talked about the nursing home subject again, but it was time to try once more. He had enough savings to pay for a decent assisted-living residence, so it would not be awful.
He had even gone online to search for places, and there was one nearby in their neighborhood in Chesapeake, Virginia, which was only a few minutes away from Peter’s house. He had printed the information and was ready to show it to Peter.
“Ok, Dad. Let’s go and visit it tomorrow,” Peter agreed that night, and Donald was relieved. Mary had been harping again about his extended stay, and Donald was worried that it would ruin his bond with his son and the family.
So the following morning, Donald got into the passenger seat of Peter’s car, and they started driving towards the nursing home he suggested. For some reason, Peter took several turns, and Donald frowned. “Are you sure this is the right way? I feel like you’re going to circle back to your house,” the older man told his son.
“Oh, don’t worry, Dad. We have to pick up something first from 7Eleven,” Peter replied, his hands moving the wheel and his eyes focused on the road.
Donald nodded and thought nothing of it. He picked up the paperwork he had printed and read aloud some of the benefits listed on the nursing home’s website.
He concentrated so hard on reading that he didn’t notice when Peter stopped the car. “Oh, get me a bag of chips, please,” Donald said absentmindedly.
“We’re not at the 7Eleven, Dad. Look up,” Peter chimed in. Donald raised his head and looked at his son, who gestured towards the passenger side’s window. The older man turned and realized they were on his old street right in front of his house.
The last image he remembered of that place had been pure ashes and pain. He had bought that house with his wife, and that’s where they raised Peter. The surprise of seeing it gone after a massive short-circuit in the kitchen had been too much for his older heart.
But the image he saw now was nothing like he remembered. The house was back in shape. It was completely remodeled. Donald raised his eyebrows at his son. “No, you didn’t,” he whispered.
“Of course, I did. Well, we did. Sandra worked to find the best budgets out there,” Peter added with a huge smile on his face.
“That’s too much money, Peter. Let me pay you back,” Donald said as tears started gathering in his eyes.
“Absolutely not. Did you think I would let my father live in a nursing home? I don’t know where you got that crazy idea. Besides, you and Mom raised me in that house. We absolutely can’t lose it, even if I have one of my own just a few blocks away. I love this home, and this is more than you deserve for everything you did for me while I was growing up,” Peter gushed as his eyes watered too.
Donald started crying openly, and his son pulled him for a tight hug. They took a tour of the new house which Peter and Sandra had also furnished, although it was more modern now.
Donald couldn’t believe his son had done this, and now he understood why they were always getting home late. He also realized that he shouldn’t have listened to their nosey neighbor, Mary. Clearly, she was wrong.
What can we learn from this story?
One person’s journey doesn’t have to be yours. Mary told Donald that his son would tire of his presence in his house judging from her own experience, but she was utterly mistaken. Because what happened to her wouldn’t necessarily happen to Donald.
Take care of your parents in their old age. Sometimes, placing your parents in a nursing home is inevitable, but take care of them if you can because family is all that matters in this world.
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